Escaping the Female Role: How Misogyny Shapes the Desire to “Become a Man”
Many women who later detransition describe their journey as an attempt to flee the painful expectations placed on girls and women. They did not feel an inner “male identity”; they felt the weight of being female in a world that punishes femininity. One detransitioned woman explains: “sexism and misogyny… made me think that I don’t want to grow up and become a woman… I decided that if I don’t want to follow stereotypes about women then I’m not a woman at all.” – thistle_ev source [citation:cd113c43-a326-4e70-a3d1-25b3854716fe] In other words, rejecting womanhood felt easier than challenging the rigid rules of what a woman “should” be.

Sexual Trauma & the Search for Safety
Sexual violence and harassment teach many girls that a female body is a target. Transitioning can seem like armor. A detransitioned woman recalls: “many biological women have wanted to transition because they are trying to escape being a woman due to sexual violence… They don’t want to feel as helpless and vulnerable as they were when those atrocities happened.” – CampForeign4664 source [citation:470380b7-5156-48f7-8268-539f29963839] The desire is not to become a man for its own sake, but to become someone who will not be prey.

Internalized Lesbophobia & the Fear of Same-Sex Attraction
When a girl discovers she loves other girls, she may meet open hostility. Rather than face the label “lesbian” in a lesbophobic culture, some conclude they “must be” boys. As one detrans woman puts it: “Some are so lesbophobic that they may transition as a way to get as far away from that as possible (i.e., become ‘gay men’—the furthest thing from a lesbian one can be).” – nwtae source [citation:7e692759-de73-4b76-9b52-38212195d8e6] Transition here is a shield against social rejection, not an expression of an inner male self.

Sexual Repression & the Promise of Male Freedom
Girls learn early that female sexuality is policed—labelled “slut,” “whore,” or “dangerous.” Becoming “a man” appears to grant sexual freedom. One detrans woman observes: “FtMs are more likely to be sexually repressed and view transitioning as a way to embrace their sexuality without the negative connotations attached when doing so as a woman.” – nwtae source [citation:7e692759-de73-4b76-9b52-38212195d8e6] The illusion is that masculinity offers permission to desire and be desired without shame.

The Desire for Social Invisibility
Finally, many women describe wanting simply to disappear from the relentless judging gaze. “Women… don’t necessarily want to be men, but mostly escape femininity… they want to be invisible.” – Sad-Comedian-5747 source [citation:cc30926f-c232-4c98-9b42-73b6f92de83c] A male name, male clothes, and a flat chest can feel like a cloak that lets them walk through the world un-harassed.

A Path to Self-Understanding

These stories reveal a common thread: the decision to adopt a male identity often grows out of pain, not essence—pain inflicted by misogyny, sexual violence, and rigid gender rules. Healing begins when women recognize that the problem is not their female bodies, but the oppressive expectations attached to them. Supportive therapy, feminist community, and the freedom to live as gender-non-conforming women can offer the safety, dignity, and authenticity they were seeking through transition—without medical intervention.